Joke of the Month

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He said, "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"

He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."

I said, "Well, why are you crying?"

He said, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."

I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

He said, "I can't remember where I live!"

I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, bean-o, antacid........

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories.....over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care....

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like............................

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, antismoke, anti-noise anti-inflammatory.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I 'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.....

I'm wondering: if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm supporting all movements now.... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN, and.. I think..

I am having the time of my life!